


floriography

by KiriKay



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Ai Mikaze Is A Flower Boy, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor, M/M, Mentions of Car Accidents, Mentions of Suicide, aine is already dead once this starts im sorry yall, all of it is non graphic, mentions of depression, syo ren tomo and nat are there for like two seconds, theres a lot of implied stuff tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 21:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17129396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiriKay/pseuds/KiriKay
Summary: Ai Mikaze works in a flower shop.Ranmaru Kurosaki works in a tattoo parlor.It's almost inevitable that they meet when their work places are, quite literally, right next to each other.(aka the one shot I kept promising tumblr people I'd finish)





	floriography

**Author's Note:**

> im posting this now bc last year i put up a fic on christmas and even tho its not christmas its like. close enough. plus this really only needed some polish to be done so it was rly low effort.
> 
> i dont know what ranmaru's sister is named so i just used the name i gave her in cat lol  
> theres so many liberties here idk what to even say  
> lots of concepts from here are gonna be reused in providence bc im lazy?
> 
> If i need to tag something and i missed it tell me pls im tired and dumb lkjfgkdjsf
> 
> enjoy!!!

* * *

The Kisaragi Flower Shop was lush and full of life; stepping in brought a wave of warm, humid air to brush skin, and curling leaves shiver in greeting. All in all, it was a wonderful, colorful place to walk into.

Ai doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the flower shop; there was something calming about it, an instinctive relaxation that came with being surrounded by beautiful flowers. It was a kind of magic only flowers could bring-- or so the professor had said when Ai had first seen it and marvelled at everything. Then again, at 10 years old, everything seemed so much more fantastic.

The commerce center where the flower shop sat was a world of its own at night, Ai came to find out when he was finally old enough for the professor to let him stay in the shop until late at night; fairy lights were strung up on every pillar and tree year round, and the street lamps were wrought iron and dripped with honey-gold light from age. Closing was, privately, Ai’s favorite time because of how the light cast through the windows and reflected on the glossier plants. It was also Reiji’s favorite time to come and annoy Ai half to death.

“Ai-Ai,” Reiji’s saying from where he’s sitting on the counter. Ai casually thwaps him with a towel. “Ouch! Listen, Ai, I've been thinking--”

“You'll hurt yourself that way.” Ai snips and goes back to plucking stray roses from the chiller. They were starting to droop.

“--Haha. I should get a tattoo, the shop is right next door after all!”

Ai pauses, using a dilapidated rose to hit Reiji this time.

“You're stupid.”

“Hey, hey! You don't even know what I want to do!” Reiji protests, lifting his hand in a weak attempt of defending himself.

“Whatever it is, it’s stupid.” Ai shoots back, hand dropping to his hip. “You can't just keep doing stupid things because no one is here to stop you, Reiji.”

Reiji purses his lips and doesn't speak again until Ai has finished rounding up the slowly decaying flowers around the shop. Ai knows he's trying to explain himself, find a way to get Ai to understand why he needed this, and Ai knows that eventually, he'll give in. Either way, he didn't have to make it easy.

“Ai,” Reiji says quietly. “I know I've been. . . impulsive, lately. I know. I'm sorry.”

“I shouldn't have to pick you up from bars every other night because you got into a fight or something just as ridiculous.” Ai replies, looking at Reiji. “I know you're hurt but so am I, Reiji. Aine didn't just leave  _ you _ behind; he left us  _ all _ .”

Reiji's jaw clenches and he looks away.

“I want something permanent, okay? To-- to remember. To just, just make it feel like I can move on, okay?” he finally mutters. Ai taps his nails across the countertop.

Ai watches the way Reiji shifts, uncomfortable, and how the cloud of Aine’s death still fogs his eyes.

“Okay, fine.” Ai relents. “If you do something stupid after you get that tattoo, though, I'm not talking to you anymore. What do you need?”

“. . . Can you make an arrangement? For reference.”

“Sure. Out if what?”

“Peace lilies, hydrangeas, asters, and forget me nots.” Reiji replies quickly; it was obvious he had been thinking about it for a while. After a beat, Reiji’s voice drops. “Peace lilies were his favorite. I used to tell him, why like such boring flowers when you're so vivid? And he’d laugh at me and tell me that I didn't understand the appeal of flowers at all.”

Ai places his hand on Reiji’s knee and squeezes.

“Go home, Reiji.” Ai whispers. “Get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Reiji echoes weakly, sliding off the counter. “See you tomorrow.”

Ai watches Reiji leave and sighs, head dropping forward. After a moment, he shakes it off and wipes the corner of his eyes before going back to cleaning up.

* * *

The professor was eccentric as ever when Ai returned the next day for his shift; since he had no classes on Tuesday this semester, Ai entered in the early morning to open and left earlier in the evenings. The benefit of opening was, as always, seeing Dr. Kisaragi running around the shop and giving everything a once over.

“Good morning doctor.” Ai murmurs pleasantly.

Dr. Kisaragi grunts in reply and pats Ai’s head when he passes by. He was a professor at Saotome University, where Ai was currently going, and taught an array of botany-related courses. This meant, of course, that he was an absolute bumbling mess anywhere that wasn’t a lecture hall or lab.

“A PhD under your belt, doctor, and yet you manage to forget your keys inside the cash register somehow.” Ai snarks, clicking said keys to catch the doctor’s attention.

“A PhD doesn't guarantee much.” the doctor replies, taking his keys gratefully. “Just you wait, someday I'll take you back in just because of your organizational skills. I am in  _ severe _ need.”

“Of course, doctor, no need to threaten me.”

“Don’t be a brat, I’m your dearest uncle!”

“That doesn’t mean you  _ aren’t _ a human disaster.”

Dr. Kisaragi laughs, a loud, happy bark and Ai smiles in reply. Opening was always like this-- frantic and fun, energetic as the doctor tried to help Ai set up.

“Get out.” Ai says eventually, almost pushing the doctor out the door. “You'll be late if you don't leave now.”

“Yes, yes, of course.”

Ai watches him get into his car and leave with a grin. The doctor always left him in a good mood, which is why when a white-haired employee of the tattoo shop gives Ai an odd look, Ai only shakes his head.

“Good morning.” Ai says.

“Mornin’.” he replies gruffly, and Ai slips back inside.

He works on Reiji’s bouquet between customers, touching each stem with reverence. Ai had learned quite a bit of flower language for when more creative customers needed help, and he's sure Reiji had been looking them up for this.

The peace lilies get the gentlest touches; handling them any other way would likely break Ai’s heart.

* * *

Black Thorn Tattoo Parlor had a pretty solid Yelp review, to Ai’s great relief. It wasn't that he didn't like their neighbors-- the manager, a bright redhead with a sparkling grin named Tomochika, always spoke to Ai pleasantly when he was closing and they met up outside-- but Reiji’s judgment hadn't been the best since Aine died. Everything about him had been thrown off the deep end, rough around the edges.

After getting the picture he wanted tattooed on and paying for the bouquet, Reiji had asked Ai to come with him. For moral support, of course. Not like Ai had seen Reiji cry when Aine flicked his nose too hard once.

Regardless, Ai does come along after one of his earlier shifts. Reiji is humming as they walk in, buoyant as he talks to the blond receptionist.

“Your artist will come up shortly.” he says, smiling charmingly. “In the meantime, you can stay seated up here.”

Reiji twitches a lot, Ai had come to know over the years; he didn't like sitting still, felt uncomfortable if he wasn't doing something. And yet, Ai marveled at how still Reiji was as they waited. He didn’t even shake his leg.

“You seem very relaxed.” Ai ventures.

“I’m pretty excited!”

Before Ai can prod more, the white haired man he'd seen the other day emerged from the back.

“Reiji Kotobuki?” he says, voice just as rough as Ai remembered it being.

“That's me!” Reiji says, standing up in a bounce. “And my moral support.”

“Ai.” he says simply, standing up much slower than Reiji did and offering his hand. “I work next door.”

“Yeah, I remember you.” he says, shaking Ai’s hand. “Ranmaru.”

“A pleasure meeting you.”

He nods and turns to Reiji for introductions, leading them both to the back of the shop into a room. He's professional and surprisingly calm; Ai hadn't met him before, but the manager had relegated Ai with stories of Ranmaru’s infamous temper in a playful voice. Ranmaru even pulls in an extra chair for Ai on the other side of the tattooing chair, and Ai gratefully sits. Reiji tells Ranmaru exactly what he wants, where he wants it, and shows Ranmaru the bouquet.

“Lovely arrangement.” he says absent mindedly as he looks it over.

“Thank you.” Ai replies easily, and Ranmaru snorts. “It's my job to make them nice, after all.”

“You're the best, Ai-Ai~” Reiji teases, reaching over to ruffle Ai’s hair. Ai easily slides away with a frown, and Ranmaru laughs again at their antics.

“So, right shoulder?” Ranmaru says.

“Yup!”

It's a blur from there; Ai holds Reiji’s left hand as Ranmaru works on his right shoulder. Ai’s pretty sure that he's going to have bruises from how hard Reiji is gripping him. Ai says nothing. It's quiet except for the needle and Reiji’s little wheezing noises. Ranmaru is dead focused, and Ai idly wonders if he even hears what's going on outside of his focus; Ai gets like that sometimes when he was forming bouquets, wrapping stems and lining up flowers to avoid having to really think at all. It happened markedly more often when he was working on a coding project though, to the point that he’d develop tunnel vision and lose track of everything else.

(If Ai had it  _ his _ way, he’d bury himself into coding and never come back out. Alas, he needed to go to work to continue living, so he couldn't quite get what he wanted.)

The thin black outline blooms across Reiji’s skin, small and neat, and once the outline is done, Ranmaru stops.

“Okay,” he says, voice rougher from his silence. “We’re gonna let this heal, and in about a month or so, you gotta come back to get it colored. I want to make sure this heals alright since your skin is pretty sensitive.”

“Of course.” Ai says, because Reiji isn't even twitching with how hard he's trying to keep it together and there's no way he's going to speak. “Thank you for your consideration.”

“ ‘s my job.”

Ranmaru cleans the ink, listing off how to take care of Reiji’s shoulder and let's Ai watch diligently as he does it. Reiji’s fingers loosen, one by one, until he doesn't look like he's going to throw up or pass out. Ai pats Reiji’s arm kindly, listening to Ranmaru lecture on proper tattoo care.

“I'll keep him to that.” Ai assures Ranmaru.

Ranmaru grunts his approval, and Ai mentally reminds himself to get Reiji some new colorful tank tops.

* * *

Ai opens next Tuesday especially tired, kicking out the professor a little earlier than usual to enjoy some quiet before officially opening. When he goes to flip the sign, he sees Ranmaru walking towards the tattoo parlor. Their eyes meet, and Ai tilts his head in a motion he knows is seen as pleasant and kind. Ranmaru tilts the coffee cup in his hand in reply, and Ai’s mouth quirks up; he kind of wants coffee, but he’d drank way too much last night already while finishing a paper.

He ends up buying tea on his break, at the coffee shop just across the center. The blond behind the counter is bright and bubbly, which grates on Ai’s nerves but he knows it's just his exhaustion; Natsuki had never proven to be anything more than kind to Ai when he came by. He leaves an extra hefty tip, considering his resting expression while upset has been known to chase other customers off.

The large hibiscus tea with honey soothes some of Ai’s frayed nerves. Ranmaru is smoking out front when Ai gets back, and Ai huffs into his cup humorlessly; the tobacco was strong enough to exacerbate his mounting headache, but Ranmaru was in front of the tattoo parlor meaning Ai had no authority to tell him to leave.

“Those are bad for you, I'm sure you know.” Ai says calmly, taking a sip.

“Yeah, I don't give a shit.” Ranmaru replies, blowing smoke upwards and away from Ai, thankfully. “How's your boyfriend?”

“Reiji?” Ai says, laughing a little. “He's not my boyfriend, more like an annoying older brother. I'm making sure he's taking care of the tattoo though, and it looks better every day.”

“Good, the hard part is the coloring.”

“I heard most people react badly to red based dyes.” Ai says, recalling the threads of research he’d done when he got tired of staring at his word document. “Though his colors are cooler, the purple tones might react. I doubt it, since Reiji has never any particular sensibilities with dyes in food, but I supposed they're too different to properly conclude anything.”

Ranmaru grunts and takes the final drag of his cigarette, grinding it against the wall and launching it at the green trashcan next to Ai. Ai scrunches his nose as the scent hits him, drinking from his tea to try and drown out the smell. Licking some of the reddish color off his lips, Ai slips by Ranmaru and into the shop with a wave.

The smell of a thousand blooming flowers helps Ai shake off the nicotine for good.

* * *

Ai never sees Ranmaru smoking outside again. When he asks Tomochika about it a few weeks later, she shrugs.

“He only does it when he's stressed,” she admits. “Otherwise he takes pretty good care of himself. When he does it, it adds to our aesthetic so I let him do whatever.”

Reiji returns for his coloring session with a bright grin and a yellow and white tank top Ai had so graciously gifted him. He wrapped the tattoo up to wear his work uniform at his family's bento shop, but otherwise let it breathe proudly. Ai hums when Ranmaru greets them, already familiar enough from bumping into each other. Ranmaru pats his shoulder as he steps by to grab an extra chair, and Ai’s lips twitch up.

“How can you be so calm around needles?” Reiji asks suddenly, and Ai huffs.

“I've spent so much of my life around them that I'm pretty immune to the fear.”

“Sick kid?” Ranmaru asks as he returns, and Ai grabs the chair and wrestles it to the other side of the table.

“I was in a car accident as a child, and I return regularly to the hospital, so not much bothers me when it comes to blood and needles.” Ai says, settling and placing his hands next to Reiji for easy access.

“What?” Reiji says, and Ranmaru loads up the needle gun with a mock-seriousness that makes Reiji scoot back. “You never told me that!”

“It was never relevant until right now.” Ai replies primly, brushing his bangs behind his ear. “Plus, it’s not like Aine and I ran around telling people much of anything.”

“Do you get achy when its about to rain?” Reiji asks curiously, leaning over as Ai rolls his eyes.

“Humidity can exacerbate some of my old wounds,” Ai says, shoving Reiji towards Ranmaru and grabbing his hand preemptively. “It is phenomenon caused by the drop of barometric pressure. It can possibly cause tendons to swell painfully.”

Ai continues talking about different medical concepts, pausing to let Ranmaru announce what he was going to do and begin, before going on. It helps Reiji focus on something other than the pain, and he manages to ask some questions between gritted teeth.

“--I have a rod down the inside of my left tibia,” Ai is saying when Ranmaru pulls the needle away and hisses softly, the first purposeful noise he’s made in a while.

“Sounds painful.” he offers, switching his colors.

“It was when I got it, and I've been meaning to get it removed.”

“Probably costs a damn pretty penny.” Ranmaru says distractedly.

“That’s why I've yet to do so. There's also a chance things can get worse if you take it out, causing infections or refactures. I'm not worried about it getting refractured since it's been over a decade, but infections are still viable.”

“Can you not talk about infections?!” Reiji squeaks out, squirming.

“You're almost done.” Ranmaru assures, returning to Reiji’s skin diligently.

Ai keeps talking, veering into less gross-sounding medicine for Reiji’s sake.

* * *

The humidity of the flower shop had become familiar, Ai easily ignoring the resulting pains, but nothing compared to the full body  _ thrum _ of an impending thunderstorm on the horizon. Ai didn't want to say it  _ hurt _ exactly, but it kind of  _ did _ , especially in his left leg. Staying inside the shop proved to be the best option tonight, no matter how much Ai wanted more hibiscus tea from the café.

Ai is moving some roses into the chiller and humming when the bell above the door rings.

“I'll be right with you.” Ai calls out, placing the last of the roses in quickly.

“Ain't no rush.”

Ai turns and tilts his head curiously at where Ranmaru stands facing Ai, hip against the counter. He look almost too out of place surrounded by tufts of blooming flowers and leafy greens; he cuts through the jungle of the shop with his silver and black and red, a rough sketch against smooth curves. Ai walks up to him.

“I didn't expect to see you here,” Ai says, not unkindly, and he ignores the way Ranmaru notices his very slight wobble. “How can I help you?”

“You alright there?” he asks.

“Fine. It’s just the storm.” Ai insists.

“If ya say so. I was looking for a bouquet; ‘s my mom’s birthday.”

“Oh! Of course, did you have anything in mind?”

“Somethin’ that smells nice and strong, and lots of hot colors is all I've got.” Ranmaru says.

“That's a very good start.”

Ai guides Ranmaru around the shop, pointing out different flowers and their general characteristics. They end up picking out orange-red honeysuckles, pink peonies, multicolored sweet peas, and white gardenias to balance it all out. Ai arranges them in a simple, wide mouthed vase, quietly explaining why and where everything was going.

“The sweet peas on the outside, because they give it a more expansive feeling. Put the peonies and gardenias next to soften the honeysuckle in the very center, since it’s so bright. And since it’s all a variety of shapes, they can fill in for different spots more smoothly. A ribbon?”

“Nah.” Ranmaru mutters distractedly. “She thinks flowers are frivolous, but I know she really likes ‘em. I don't think she’d survive havin’ a bow or some shit.”

Ai snorts but goes to ring Ranmaru up, pulling a wooden stool over with the tip of his foot and sitting down at the cash register. His leg had been complaining the entire time, and at times it had almost felt like the rod was rattling around even if it was impossible.

“Anything you can do for that leg?” Ranmaru asks as he pays.

“Usually I just take painkillers. I also drink tea, more for comfort than anything.”

“What kinda tea does a plant boy like?”

“All of them.” Ai replies with a bland, stubborn tone. “But hibiscus with honey makes a lovely combination, if you're curious.”

Ai motions towards a blisteringly bright section of red and pink hibiscus flowers to his right.

“What, and you just chew the petals?” Ranmaru mocks and Ai scoffs.

“You  _ do _ seem a little too uncultured to enjoy tea.”

Ranmaru huffs and gathers his bouquet, but doesn't seem very deeply bothered about Ai’s teasing. Ai can see threads of black tattoo ink from Ranmaru’s wrist where his leather jacket rides up.

“Thanks.” Ranmaru says gruffly, and Ai manages a slit of a smile.

“Have a good day. Don't let the rain catch you.”

* * *

Ranmaru  _ does _ let the rain catch him, if only because he ends up dropping off a cup of tea for Ai. Ai thanks him, smiling a little better, and he keeps the phone number scribbled on the cupholder for another rainy day.

* * *

Ranmaru is lucky that the next day is  _ also _ a rainy day.

* * *

[Reiji keeps asking me ridiculous questions about his tattoo and now I know so much miscellaneous information I'm thinking of quitting my major and working with you guys.] Ai texts one day, frustrated with his coding and fielding messages from Reiji. [I don't know the cure all for idiots not knowing how to Google things.]

Ai is half dozing into his crossed arms, wondering just how hard would it  _ really _ be to write up a simple system that Reiji could just text all his goddamn questions to, when his phone pings with a reply.

_ That's just what Google is, Ai _ , Ai thinks to himself, and the mocking voice sounds just like Aine.

[He seems like the annoying questions type.] Ranmaru replies.

[That’s because he is. His tattoo is healing really well, at least, so he hasn't been asking about infections incessantly.]

[. . . Has he actually asked about that kind of stuff before?]

[ _ Yes _ ]

They go mutually quiet, Ai diving into his code once more to finally unknot the bug fucking up his  _ entire goddamn system. _ Ai has been coding for a good few years, and he’s particularly talented with it, but debugging is still frustrating as all hell. He remembers to send out one more text before he becomes completely enthralled in his work.

[I hope your mother enjoyed her gift.]

Three hours later, Ai has to grab eye drops and peel off his glasses before he  _ really _ starts craving death. He had long since strategically placed the eyedrops in a container in a kitchen cupboard, because being near food reminded Ai that he needs to actually  _ eat _ . He’s struggling to figure out what he wants to eat ( _ nothing really, but that won't fly anymore _ ) when his phone pings with a set of texts. He goes to grab it, eyes his computer, and turns right back into the kitchen with determination.

[Your friend seems kinda annoying]

[She did like them]

[She tried to hit me with them at one point, but I told her a  _ very _ nice young man made it for her and she lightened up]

Ai laughs, shaking his head.

[He's annoying but I still care for him despite it. I'm very pleased to hear she liked them.]

Ai sighs, tapping his screen anxiously.

[I have no idea what to make for], Ai pauses and checks the time. [for a really late lunch. Please suggest something before I decide to ignore food and go back to work]

[Anything with noodles is really easy], Ranmaru replies quickly, [What do you have?]

Ai shoots back a reply of what he knows he has, and in five minutes Ranmaru has sent him a viable looking recipe Ai could probably pull together. Not that he was bad at cooking, but he didn't have a flare for it like Reiji and, apparently, Ranmaru did.

[Thank you]

Ai sends a heart emoji after a moment. Flirting wasn't his strong point, but Ranmaru  _ was _ being pretty cute with him. Trying would prove to be a good experience.

* * *

“Ran, why are you laying on the couch like that?” Nozomi asks, prodding at Ranmaru’s back obnoxiously. “Mom’s gonna be home soon if you're feelin’ sick.”

“I'm not sick.” Ranmaru grunts out, refusing to turn over.

“Is it that boy?” Nozomi asks, voice lilting teasingly.

“You're like twelve, shaddap.”

“ _ Thirteen _ !”

Ranmaru laughs, and Nozomi stomps away to her room moodily. Their mom  _ is _ home soon, nearly three minutes later opening the door and catching the silver of his hair over the end of the couch.

“Ranmaru,” she says pleasantly. “You're usually not here at this time. Apartment feeling empty?”

“Maybe I came to see you.” Ranmaru grouses.

Giulianna Kurosaki was not easily moved with her son’s bad attitude, so she just ruffles his hair as she steps by him to turn on the TV. Ranmaru moves his legs, sitting up properly so that she had space to sit herself. The bouquet sat next to the TV, perky and happy still.

“So do tell me why you're here today, hm?” she asks as she flicks through channels. “Is it that boy?”

“Maybe.”

“Well that’s as good as a yes from you!”

Ranmaru groans and sinks into his seat, trying to hide into his jacket. Giulianna pats Ranmaru's knee as she finally lands on a news station.

“Grab me some water, will you dear?” she says, and Ranmaru gets up to do so.

“He’s funny and I don't think he means it, and he’s obnoxious and annoying and he’s studying software engineering, he’s gotta be some kind of genius?” Ranmaru immediately complains the moment he's out of sight.

“But is he  _ obnoxiously pretty _ ?”

“Don't use my words against me!”

* * *

“Ran is an idiot.” Nozomi complains quietly that night, once Ranmaru had left after making them dinner.

“ _ Nozomi _ .” Giulianna warns.

“What? He always does the same thing. He gets all tied into knots about someone, but he’s too afraid to just ask them out.” she complains. “ _ I've _ asked a boy out, mom, they're really not that hard to please.”

Giulianna laughs, patting Nozomi’s head gently; said boy had only lasted one short date, but Giulianna had to agree. Ranmaru could be bullheaded and stubborn to a fault, but sometimes he lacked the initial push he needed.

“That Ai boy seems straightforward,” Giulianna soothes. “If they're going to get together, he’ll probably assure it.”

“Maybe then Ran will stop looking so bored all the time.”

“You know Nozomi, you seem to be worried about Ran a lot lately.” Giulianna says calmly, and Nozomi sputters.

“I am not!”

* * *

Ranmaru visits the flower shop one day, only to find Ai crowned with a halo of red spider lilies. His hair is loose and messy, and he’s petting the petals lazily as he marks up a paper on the counter.

“Nice crown.” Ranmaru says as he walks over.

“Thanks. A little girl made it for me after I said I’d have to throw them out soon.” Ai replies absentmindedly. “Red spider lilies are my favorite. They're a little macabre to most though.”

“Death tends to be.”

Ai laughs, cutting himself off when he looks up from his paperwork. His eyes are clear, always a smooth light blue, but against the red of the flowers, they shine a crystalline blue-white. When Ranmaru doesn’t manage to immediately respond, Ai tilts his head with quiet curiosity. His lips quirk up, brilliant too because he’d been drinking his hibiscus tea again today, and Ranmaru distinctly realizes he is cripplingly smitten with that expression.

“What?” Ai asks, and he seems to catch onto the end of a thought,  _ say something cute for once, Ai _ . “Cat got your tongue?”

Okay. Maybe that wasn't what brain Aine had meant by cute. At least  _ cats _ were cute.

“Nah,” Ranmaru says, trying to sound smooth instead of letting out the strangled mess currently residing in his chest. “Just that you took my breath away.”

Ai tries really hard to not laugh, he  _ does _ , but he feels himself blush like that isn't the most ridiculous line he's heard all month and a giggle finds it way out of his mouth unbidden. He covers his face, shivering with mirth and embarrassment because it managed to fluster him despite its ridiculousness.

“That was really bad.” Ranmaru admits weakly, sounding gruff.

“I think we're both bad at this.” Ai amends, keeping one cheek covered and using his free hand to fix his shifting flower crown.

Ai looks so pleased that Ranmaru feels his nerves settle.

“When do you get out today?” Ai asks firmly, head tilted to the side again. “Because I'm closing today at seven, and if you'd like we can go get something to eat.”

“That’s perfect.”

* * *

Dinner goes really well. Not well enough to remember after they make out at the doorway of Ai’s apartment, but Ai  _ assumes _ it was great considering that they  _ made out in front of his doorway _ .

* * *

Them making out in front of Ai’s doorway becomes an increasingly common part of Ai’s days.

* * *

Ranmaru shrugs off his jacket when he visits one day, and Ai gets to see the extent of his sleeve. Usually he wore tight long sleeves to work, and Ai only ever caught glimpses of ink on his skin, but today it was just a simple tee shirt under his signature leather. The tattoos are amazingly detailed, and Ai immediately pulls Ranmaru over by his left wrist to look them over.

“ _ Whoa _ ,” Ai murmurs and Ranmaru chuckles. “They look painful.”

They really do; it's a black forest that grows from the circle of Ranmaru’s wrist up, branches crackling into a burning monochrome fire. Ashes spit up from the flames and turns into stars, connected by navy blue constellation lines.  _ Orion _ chases the  _ Pleiades _ ,  _ Ursa Major _ and  _ Minor _ dance around each other,  _ Andromeda, Cassiopeia, Lupus _ \-- Ai traces his fingertips over each new cluster.

“There’s more in the back.” Ranmaru says, obviously amused by Ai’s wonder.

“And further up?”

“It’s different. Nothin’ on me quite matches right.”

“Matches you.” Ai says, switching to see Ranmaru’s other arm. Ranmaru obliges, and Ai hums.

“Clockwork?” Ai whispers as he traces the design on the inner parts of Ranmaru’s arm.

It was more intricate, looking like 3-D pieces of clockwork and wiring, colored in with bronze and gold shades. It was the only tattoo on his right arm as far as Ai can see, but it’s so in-depth that Ai can see why it's alone.

“They are very beautiful.” Ai says finally, giving Ranmaru a faint smile. “Did you design them?”

“Most of it,” Ranmaru admits, casually catching Ai’s hand in his. “The stars were Tomochika’s idea.”

“And the rest of them?”

“A lotta them are vintage enough that I refuse to say.”

Ai laughs and squeezes Ranmaru’s hand.

* * *

Ai visits the tattoo shop after his early shifts, right before his classes, and befriends the person who mans the front desk usually: Ren. He was inexplicably flirty, and Ai is completely immune to his nonsense on principal, but they share a love of MMORPG’s so Ai came to forgive his horrible pick up lines.

They're talking strategy one day, Ai sitting in Ren’s chair just to be obnoxious and contrary as Ren digs for something or other in the desk’s lower cabinets when Ranmaru steps out from the back. He’s guiding a freshly tattooed customer to the front, and Ren is snickering and  _ refuses to goddamn get up _ , and Ranmaru is just  _ leaving the dude there for paperwork _ , and Ai is going to  _ throttle them both. _

He promptly kicks Ren in the side as he smiles his customer service smile.

“How was everything?” Ai asks as Ren lazily points at a stack of paperwork that and keeps digging. Ai is going to kill him.

He does the stupid front desk paperwork, trying to kick Ren half to death as subtly as possible and failing. Ranmaru returns soon after to assist, and  _ he _ fails at hiding a mocking smirk directed at Ai. The client leaves happy with all his paperwork done, at least.

“Ai is really good at bullshit and hitting me,” Ren says as he emerges from underneath the desk, stretching languidly.

“My boyfriend is good at everything.” Ranmaru says.

Ai doesn't let the first use of an official title get Ranmaru out of the verbal reaming Ai has saved up, but it does make him grin privately.

* * *

Ai wonders how long it’ll take until he and Ranmaru have to reveal whatever their personal tragedies were.

“Maybe he’ll take you to the beach and it’ll be really dramatic.” Camus suggests over tea, and Ai picks up a paper clip Camus has on his floor for some reason and flings it at him. Camus catches it.

“That’s not healthy, I think.” Ai says.

“We’re hardly beacons of healthy communication.” Camus replies primly.

If Ai weren’t seriously dating, he’d probably kiss Camus. Not that he saw a problem with it, but he’s sure Ranmaru would hate it because he’s a little jealous like that.  _ You’re weird _ , Aine’s voice suggests in Ai’s head. Sitting on the floor of Camus’s penthouse apartment after a 20 hour coding binge and a 16 hour nap checked off a lot of the prerequisite boxes for  _ weird _ . Camus was weirder for letting Ai enter his house at 10 pm and start making tea without batting an eyelash. Who ever heard of a royal letting some commoner kid into his house willy-nilly?

“Are you still flirting with that prince studying humanities?” Ai asks curiously, and Camus sputters indignantly.

“I do not flirt with  _ insufferable children _ .” Camus says. “Unlike  _ you _ .”

“You flirted with  _ me _ .” Ai challenges, biting into a tea cake and giving Camus a Look.

“Please be quiet.”

“Mm. I’ve been quiet for a day and a half.”

“Make it three days then.”

Ai laughs, and Camus returns to bed after a few minutes of banter. Ai leaves everything cleaned up neatly and locks the door on his way out.

* * *

Ai eats Skittles on the way to the graveyard. It’s kinda eerie, but the rapid fire way he downs them speaks worlds about his nerves. He’s making a fast dent in the bag. It's family sized.

“Slow down.” Reiji chides gently, and Ai leans back into the car seat, hand stilling.

“Sorry,” he mutters, free hand covering his mouth. “I'm anxious. I'm a, a you brand of anxiety. I don't like the graveyard, Reiji, I really don't.”

“I know Ai.” Reiji soothes.

“The doctor suggested maybe visiting would. . . help,” Ai says slowly. “Said that even if I don’t believe in any kind of afterlife, it’d be nice to visit her. Maybe if there is, she’s upset at me for being so distant.”

“The doctor rarely gets upset.” Reiji points out. “They probably shared that temperament.”

“She was more like Aine as far as I can tell. I never met Aine’s father though, so maybe there’s something there.”

Reiji tightens his grip on the steering wheel and says nothing, and Ai knows he’s crossed some unspoken line. He just keeps eating, much slower this time, and the bag manages to make it halfway full to the actual grave plot. Ai has no decorum as he sits before the familiar gravestone, by himself, eating calmly.

“. . . Hi,” he says awkwardly. “I haven’t been here since I was ten, have I? Not once. Your brother is a sentimental one, though, you probably know. He insisted I should come and ‘visit’. It’s really kind of ridiculous.”

Ai pops another Skittle into his mouth.

“A friend taught me stress eating,” Ai jokes after a moment. “Which is a feat considering what a bad relationship I used to have with food. I know it drove you crazy. I like  _ jello _ now.”

He finds that once he starts, it’s easy to just keep going. The doctor had suggested filling her in on his life so far, since it had officially been ten years since she died. Ai didn't think his unsteady mourning would be so obvious, but it’s not like the doctor isn't  _ alway _ unendingly perceptive of his nephew’s moods. If only Ai had inherited that talent instead of the love of science.

It’s okay though, because he knows he inherited his mother's soft smile and unique humor and that was more than enough.

* * *

Ai feels a little more energetic the next day, a touch manic in his movements. He doesn't really like it, but he feels better than he did yesterday. Ranmaru notices, of course, but Ai just smiles when he asks and places a lily of the valley behind his ear. Its bells scatter messily and Ai snorts.

“Not my best choice.” Ai admits, plucking it out, and Ranmaru leans in to kiss him, and everything is good.

Even if his leg aches and his heart hurts a little and his head is foggy with barely-there memories, everything is. . .  _ good _ .

* * *

Ranmaru’s mother hugs Ai like he’s done something particularly important. He awkwardly pats her shoulders, ever unused to casual touch, throwing Ranmaru a confused look over her head; they both tower over her, so it’s easy to make eyebrow signals.

“Oh, dear,” she says as she pulls away, wiping her eyes. “Finally someone who can tame my son.”

Ai purses his lips to keep his laughter contained. Ranmaru flushes.

“ _ Mom _ .” he hisses.

“He's so much trouble!” Ms. Kurosaki says, and she winks at Ai behind Ranmaru’s back. “Nozomi, come meet your brother’s boyfriend!”

“Is he cute?” she yells back.

“Incredibly so.”

Nozomi’s head pops around the doorway and she peers into the entrance, where Ai is still trapped against the wall. Her eye are silver like Ranmaru’s, and her brother had forgone his single red-violet contact so that they match uncannily. Her hair was a deep brown leading to a hot red at the tips, looking freshly dyed.

“Holy shit,” she breathes out. “Ran, you really struck a good one here. Did he lie to you? Ranmaru isn't cool at all you know.”

“Nozomi!” Ms. Kurosaki and Ranmaru say together, but Ai feels a familiar bubble of humor in his chest and a tightness behind his eyes.

“Nah,” he says as casually as he can. “I know he’s not cool, but he looks cool when he's next to me, so it balances out.”

“I like you! Did you dye your hair that color?”

“Nope. It’s naturally this color. My cousin and I were the only one’s who inherited it, somehow.”

Nozomi is like Ranmaru in her unbidden questioning and blunt observations, sharp for all the odd things Ai never bothered looking for. She’s absolutely lovely to speak to, and Ai is reminded of Aine’s playful nature in her bright eyes and tough words.

He misses Aine acutely, can hear his voice in his mind, snarking, from how attached they were. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't think about Aine. Nozomi reminds Ai of all his best aspects.

“Thank you for the dinner, Ms. Kurosaki.” Ai says at the end of the night, bowing to her.

“I keep telling you to call me Giulianna, stubborn boy.” she chides and Ai simply smiles at her.

“You're cooler than my brother Ai!” Nozomi calls out as Ranmaru leads Ai out.

Ai’s laugh follows them out the door and into the cold of the street. Ranmaru grumbles, but when Ai tucks himself against his side he readily wraps and arm around Ai.

“Your family is. . . bright.” Ai murmurs against Ranmaru’s jaw. “Just like you.”

“Thanks,” he replies, not bothering to resist the urge to turn his face towards Ai. “I hope Nozomi wasn't too much for you.”

Ai hums, distracted by how close their mouths were. Ranmaru had a talent for bringing out the impulses Ai didn't think he had; he drags his hand up Ai’s spine and Ai shivers, pressing closer. The resulting kiss is warm, and Ranmaru’s arms both wrap around Ai possessively.

(Always protective, because Ranmaru was fierce about holding the things he loves close; when he pulls Ai close, it's always with love no matter how rough he accidentally is. It’s not like Ai is fragile, but the resulting tenderness as an apology makes him feel happily  _ soft _ .)

“Mm. No. She reminds me of my cousin. We were close.” Ai replies. “I'll tell you more when we get somewhere more comfortable.”

“You're tempting me to be an awful son.” Ranmaru jokes, and Ai rolls his eyes. “An angel isn't supposed invite boys into his house.”

“Well maybe,” Ai starts with a dangerous lilt in his voice. He takes Ranmaru’s hand, untangling them and pulling Ranmaru along. “I just found a  _ very _ good reason to fall from grace.”

“ _ Fuck _ .”

Ai laughs, and they reach his apartment in no time. Ranmaru’s apartment was only a little ways away, so Ai wasn't too worried about keeping him late on a Sunday night. Ranmaru is casually mouthing at Ai’s neck, tickling him more than leaving any hickeys, as he unlocks the door, and it feels unhurried enough that Ai feels confident that it's an okay time to have this conversation.

“This is going to be a little long. When I was ten,” Ai says, pushing open the door. They walk in, and Ai hooks his jacket up and encourages Ranmaru to do the same. “I was in a car accident with my mother. It’s what messed up my leg. She died in the accident.”

“Oh.” Ranmaru says, and Ai shrugs, rubbing an arm. “I'm sorry.”

“I've had a lot of time for it to hurt less.” Ai assures. “I was taken in by my uncle and he was taking care of my other uncle’s son, Aine. Aine and I were like brothers.”

This is the part that was going to hurt; the wound was still raw in Ai’s chest, a new claw mark stacked on top of others. Ranmaru takes Ai’s hand when he notices Ai’s hesitation, and pulls him towards the couch, and Ai could kiss him for how thoughtlessly thoughtful Ranmaru could be.

“Aine passed away a few months ago.” Ai says slowly, and they settle into the seats. “He, ah, killed himself. Depression has run in our family for generations, and Aine really got the brunt of it.”

Ai throws his legs over Ranmaru’s, making himself comfortable, and Ranmaru smushes against Ai’s side comfortably. They fit together well, the same way their fingers slide together like a lock and key, and the way their lips casually slot together, and its soothing because Ai feels tired all of a sudden.

“So yeah, she reminds me of Aine. He was a little mean, but  _ so _ strong.” Ai says, feeling melancholy but remembering Aine fondly. “She's got that spark in her. You've got it, too; I think it’s amazing how strong you are.”

Ranmaru brushes Ai’s hair back slowly, endlessly warm, and Ai can feel himself melt. Ai rests his cheek into Ranmaru’s palm.

“My dad died working to make things right,” Ranmaru murmurs, and Ai can feel the weight of each word on his heart. “And if I can be half as strong as him, then I can keep going on. Remembering how strong he was keeps us going.”

“That’s sweet.” Ai whispers, thinking about Aine’s voice in his head inspiring him to do stupidly brave things. “I understand that.”

Ranmaru smiles, and it lights up his face, and Ai feels affection well in his chest and overwhelm his hurt. Kissing gently on his couch and ending up sleeping tangled together wasn't really the plan, but Ai is much happier with this.

* * *

Ai skips class and calls in sick to the shop to miss his one pm shift; the doctor sounds sympathetic when Ai says, “I met his mom last night”. Ai is proud that his voice doesn't shake, considering the dark hickeys Ranmaru is smattering all over his collarbones. He has to bite his knuckles when Ranmaru drags his teeth across Ai’s skin leaving behind hot pink marks, Ai’s body twitching in response even though he wants to hit Ranmaru a little.

“You sure you don't have to go in yet?” Ai asks.

“My first appointment is at three, Ai,” Ranmaru assures, hands travelling further and further down. “I have  _ all _ the time in the world.”

Ai would have bothered him further but his mind totally blanks out when Ranmaru hitches his leg up with a completely wicked grin.

* * *

Ai brings Ranmaru pitch black coffee to the shop, making sure to add just enough sugar to stop Ranmaru’s taste buds from rotting over. It becomes a habit to bring each other drinks, and then Ai starts getting Ren his ridiculously over the top frappé’s, and Tomochika her sensibly well made lattes.

Ranmaru brings Ai his hibiscus tea, and it’s always got a message written in sharpie on the side. It varies from day to day depending on how they've been with each other lately.

Like for example,  _ today _ .

_ Today _ was a bad day.

Ai had skipped class today, unwilling to think much, and instead decided to do some of the dirty work in the back of the shop. He's transplanting petunias from too-small pots into bigger ones, huffy and unapproachable. Syo has taken over the front to save anyone from Ai’s bad mood.

“Walk me through the argument again because I'm really not getting it.” Dr. Kisaragi says from the other side of the room, clear of Ai’s spade.

“ _ He's an idiot! _ ” Ai explodes, because Ranmaru just makes him feel too-fucking-much. “He thinks just because I've got  _ issues _ ,” and the word drips with venom that is all too familiar to the doctor. “He’s got to side step  _ everything _ . I wish he'd just be honest to who he was when we started dating, before he knew about the whole, whole depression thing. See? See why I don't  _ tell _ people? They treat me  _ different _ , like I'm not just  _ me _ .”

Ai stabs into the now-empty soil, rolling his shoulders. He wasn't good at this, at keeping overflowing emotions in check; things burst out of him and it felt overwhelming. Ai peels off his gloves and tosses them off onto the table he's working on.

“He knows my leg can be painful, but it's not like he carries me around everywhere! It’s the same idea, and I don't know why he has to treat me like I can't deal with my, my  _ issues _ .”

“Have you explained it that way to him?” the doctor suggests kindly. “He might understand how you feel about it more if you compare it to your leg.”

Ai scrubs his face in frustration, breathing deeply.

“I will,” Ai promises after a moment. “I'm just. . . going to cool down.”

“Ai,” Syo calls out. “There's a. . . delivery? I guess, for you.”

Ai frowns and goes out front. Syo is holding a large cup from the nearby coffee shop, lips quirked up.

“Hey hey, that's Natsuki’s handwriting.” he says playfully.

“Ah, it is.”

Ai accepts it, turning the cup around, looking for something. Thin and small, under Ai’s name in Natsuki’s script, is scribbled out, “Let's talk?”

_ Ranmaru is so stupid, _ Ai thinks, but he feels a little better knowing Ranmaru wanted to talk.

When Ai closes the shop that night, Ranmaru is leaning against the wall next to the shop. Ai locks up, and turns towards Ranmaru.

“You don't carry me around, right?” Ai asks, and Ranmaru startles.

“Um. No?”

“Right, my leg has it's days but you don't carry me around just because my leg is slightly injured,” Ai says slowly, eyes drilling into Ranmaru’s head. “So just because you now know I've got depression doesn't mean you have to stop treating me like you normally do.”

Ranmaru slowly nods, slightly intimidated by Ai’s slowly radiating anger.

“I'll have bad days, but not every day is a bad day, so  _ stop acting like it _ .”

“I didn't mean to. . . belittle you.” Ranmaru says carefully, which is not a common tone he takes; their roles are reversed, Ai boiling and Ranmaru cooling. “I just get concerned about making sure you're okay, and I'm doing this right by you.”

“You'd know if I were upset with you. Like right now.” Ai deadpans.

He betrays his anger though, because he just steps closer to Ranmaru; he's magnetic, and Ai just wants to know that Ranmaru is going to treat him  _ right _ as opposed to treating him like a  _ thing _ so that they can go home and relax. Ranmaru’s stance loosens in response, one hand reaching out to cup Ai’s cheek fondly. They're nice and quiet together, and that's how it  _ should _ be.

“Sorry. Didn't mean to make you upset.” Ranmaru says after a beat, and Ai knows he's got it easy because getting apologies from Ranmaru was like pulling full grown teeth out. “I'll work on it.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

Their next big fight is Ai’s bad. It is  _ entirely _ his fault and he knows it.

Maybe not telling Ranmaru about the  _ major surgery _ he's going to have in a few weeks that will  _ most definitely _ leave him out of commission for a while was a bad call. In Ai’s defense, he had never had to report back to anyone for most of his life. Dr. Kisaragi and Aine had always let Ai do what he wanted, since Ai had been mostly raised in solitude and silence and had never grown into the boisterous Kisaragi nature. Camus and Reiji had long since learned that Ai just had his own devices to deal with on his own time, and that tended to be that.

But  _ Ranmaru _ .

Ranmaru cared  _ so much. _

They spoke every day, were around each other almost as often, and Ai has never had someone want to know so  _ much _ about him. No matter how much Ai insists Ranmaru is the interesting one-- the one still partly tethered to a world of socialites, with the etiquette and finesse to still fit in but wholeheartedly not caring, the one who worked hard to prove a world of empty puppets  _ wrong _ while Ai was just working to stay  _ fine _ \-- Ranmaru drinks Ai’s words up like a man dying of thirst.

A month after the appointment has been made, a week before the semester ends, and three weeks away from the actual surgery date, Ai tells Ranmaru about it.

“Nozomi is having her birthday party that Friday if you want to come along.” Ranmaru says from his kitchen; Ai is draped on the couch, flicking through his phone, buried under a blanket Ranmaru had unceremoniously tossed on him. Ai had finished his second to last final that morning, and he feels dead tired from crunching numbers all day. Just because he was good at math didn't mean it didn't dizzy him in too-large doses.

“I can't, I'm getting the rod out of my leg that day.”

There's a bout of quiet.

“. . . What?” Ranmaru says.

“Hm? You know how my tibia has a metal rod in it? I'm going to get it removed. The surgery is that Friday so I can't see Nozomi, tell her I'm sorry will you?”

“Were you going to tell me?!” Ranmaru says, making his way towards the couch, and Ai startles at the anger in his voice. He looks up when Ranmaru is close enough to see; his brows are pinched, mouth twisted, and Ai struggles to sit up against the armrest.

“When it was relevant.” Ai replies dumbly, and he feels partly confused and partly guilty at the wrought look on Ranmaru’s face. “It didn't seem important.”

“ _ How is that not important _ !”

“It hasn't happened yet?”

Ai feels uneasy. He’s never had anyone worried about things that hadn't happened yet, at least not visibly, and seeing Ranmaru upset at him was odd. Ai reaches out and takes on of Ranmaru’s hands into his own, keeping him close.

“So you were hiding it?” Ranmaru says.

“Why would I hide that?”

“I don't get why you wouldn't have told me, then!”

Ai tugs Ranmaru’s hand gently.

“First, sit next to me, will you?” Ai asks gently, coaxing Ranmaru down. “Second, I've  _ never _ hidden  _ anything _ . I don't think about irrelevant things until they matter, and the surgery just didn't matter yet. I have a final next week that's kicking my  _ ass _ , and that's what matters to me right now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it's never been because I'm hiding anything from you.”

Ai runs a hand through his hair, loose because post-exam exhaustion had left him open to Ranmaru’s suggestions and Ranmaru  _ always _ wanted Ai to have his hair loose. The movement draws Ranmaru’s eye, and he looks like he's trying to stay angry. Ai just looks so  _ genuinely _ confused about Ranmaru’s anger, and yet he’s still looking for a way to make it better.

“I don't know much about how to live in harmony I guess.” Ai admits after a moment. “I've never had to be on the same page as anyone else, so I didn't think about it. I need to work on that.”

“I can't stay mad at you,” Ranmaru mutters, voice tinged with annoyance as he pulls Ai against his chest; Ai squeaks but let's it happen. “You're just so  _ earnest _ .”

“I can't imagine being anyone else.” Ai says honestly, and Ranmaru groans dramatically.

“You're so  _ good _ . Gross.” he complains, free hand digging into Ai’s hair and gently tugging him even closer. “What did I do to deserve such a goddamn softie?”

“I'm not a softie, just not your usual type.” Ai corrects gently, tilting his chin up for a kiss. He gets it, to his great satisfaction

“You just get better every day. Brat.”

“I've got someone to look up to now for that.”

Ranmaru presses Ai down onto the couch cushions and kisses him dizzy in retaliation, better with his lips than his words when it came to conveying affection.

“You're forgiven, by the way.” he does say as he's trying to subtly shimmy Ai’s shirt off.

“I thought as much.”

* * *

It turns out Ai can't take his regular antidepressants post-surgery, due to a possible risk of hemorrhaging, so there's a whole scuffle between his doctor and his psychiatrist trying to balance things out. They decide on a lower dose of something much safer, if possibly too mild, until Ai is off the other medication.

Ai has done this before, switching between medications of different strengths to find out what actually works, so he's not worried about the switching process. Maybe a little, because none of that had ever been so close to such an emotionally disturbing event, but he’d be fine.

* * *

The surgery goes really well, all things considered. It's the hazed  _ afterwards _ Ai struggles to put together.

* * *

Ai is high as a kite on pain meds on Sunday, and Ranmaru is having fun testing Ai’s mental math capabilities. He had long since learned Ai’s knack for perfect mental calculations, and watched his boyfriend slur through equations with an unholy calm.

“Fuck cotangents. Bastards.” Ai murmurs at one point, burying his face into his pillow, and Ranmaru almost hurts himself laughing.

“Ran,” Ai whines softly, and Ranmaru leans in closer from his hard hospital chair. “Ran, I love you.”

Ranmaru pauses.

* * *

_ “I'm going to be on pain medicine so I'll be a little too honest, even for myself.” Ai warns Thursday morning, picking at his food. _

_ “Like how honest?” Ranmaru asks curiously. _

_ “Like--” Ai leans in and kisses Ranmaru lightly, an amused smile on his mouth. “--I love you kind of honest.” _

_ Ranmaru’s mouth opens and closes erratically, because Ai just loved to drop little bombs into Ranmaru’s life it seemed. Ai finally takes a bite out of his eggs casually, eyeing Ranmaru up with humor. _

_ “You don't have to say anything,” Ai starts, and lifts his hand to stop Ranmaru from starting anything. “But if you're planning on doing anything, at least let me finish eating.” _

_ “You know me too well,” Ranmaru finally croaks out, and Ai smiles wider. “Which is really rude of you.” _

_ “I know, Ran, I know.” _

* * *

“I love you too.” he says softly.

“Ran I love you so much.” Ai bulldozes on, voice pitching up like he's trying  _ really _ hard to explain a  _ very _ complex problem and he's getting frustrated with it. “Too much. I don't think I'm bad or anything but I don't do  _ anything _ , and you're great cause you do  _ everything _ all for  _ yourself _ .  _ You're _ great. You just  _ do _ things, and I  _ can't _ , and I don't really get why you like me but I guess not knowing is okay for once.”

Ai yawns and flutters his lashes at Ranmaru, who is very slowly picking apart what he just heard, bit by bit, just petting Ai’s forehead. He knows, of course, that Ai isn't  _ looking _ for a fight but this kind of stuff set off his fight instincts anyway. Instead, Ranmaru slowly drags his hand through Ai’s hair warmly.

“Ew, no, my hair is greasy, you'll get your hands gross.” Ai warns despite the way he nuzzles into Ranmaru’s palm.

“Don't care.” Ranmaru says plainly. “I love you too much to care right now.”

“Sounds like something you'd say.” Ai hums, already falling back asleep.

“Cause I said it.”

“You sure did.”

* * *

Camus visits a few times, and it's immediately obvious he and Ranmaru don't get along at  _ all _ . They act like two cats locked together in a bathtub full of water.

“Camus,” Ai whines, sleepy but not willing to go under. “Shut up and come hang out with me!”

Ranmaru is going to glare his eyeballs out of his skull at this rate, Ai is sure. He clears his throat, and fills his voice with sucre for a moment.

“Ran, fuck off.” Ai says with all his collected sweetness, kissing Ranmaru’s hand where it’s wrapped with his. “Spending too much time here is gonna make you feel shitty.”

Ai’s argumentative skills are not top notch at the moment, but he gives Ranmaru a disarming smile and it works in sending him on his way. Camus takes the now empty seat, still looking put off.

“You could do better.” is what he says, instead of the thousands of thoughts he was hiding.

“We could all do better at something,” Ai says calmly, giving Camus a Look. “But we're sort of in love so it's a hard sell. How’s your foreign prince doing?”

Ai watches Camus resist the urge to hit him with a pillow with a lazy grin.

“He’s pretty,” Ai starts, and Camus drops his hand over Ai’s mouth haughtily.

“. . . He  _ is _ pretty.” Camus says gruffly. “And he is doing fine. We went out for tea last week.”

Ai squeals, and its smothered by Camus’s palm, but Camus looks flustered anyway.

* * *

When Ai gets to go back home, he's thrilled; Reiji drives him back and helps him get himself back in order, and Ai decides that the wonderful little bottle of should-be-illegal painkillers was going to be his best friend for the next few days, Camus be damned. He has to go back to the hospital, of course, because you don't just get a tube taken out of your leg and get to chill out, but he could live with that. It’s almost nostalgic, visiting a hospital regularly again, a cradle of familiarity that lulls Ai into a sense of calm.

His leg is actually doing quite well, his body mostly proving to be as pragmatic as Ai himself; nothing gets infected, the pain does steadily go down, and his leg stops being terrible to stand on after regular physio. The new scar tissue matches some of the old ones-- silvery and slick-- and it juxtaposes against the uglier, thicker bits that healed jagged and uneven.

And all is good, until it isn't.

The new dosage  _ would _ typically work, except now Ai is constantly looking at his old scars and remembering old aches and it becomes a struggle to stay positive. He can't avoid them any more than he can avoid taking care of his new incision.

“Ranmaru,” Ai whines one day into his phone, laptop discarded on one end of the coffee table and Ai half-laying on the other. His operated leg is stretched out diligently despite his frustrations. “I'm going crazy. I burned through four projects already. I don't want to be alone with my leg anymore.”

Ranmaru's soft laugh on the other end of the phone fills Ai's head with fuzzy warmth; it's a deep, raspy thing that rumbles out of his chest in a sweet tone. His eyes slip shut for a moment, imagining the feeling of that noise pouring right into his ear instead of over the phone, and sighs longingly. There’s a gentleness to Ranmaru’s voice when he speaks, and Ai’s bitterness melts away under it.

“Are you just trying to get into my bed, Mikaze?” Ranmaru teases.

“I just--” Ai huffs, struggling to string his words together. “--I don't want to be alone, but I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm getting so irritable, Ran, I just need something that isn't coding.”

“Alright babe, how about this: I take you home with me tomorrow and we can spend the weekend together.” Ranmaru suggests, and the tenderness in his voice is like a physical caress. “And if you want, tonight I can come over and we'll make dinner and you'll be okay.”

Ranmaru wasn't always this gentle, and Ai liked his bark and his bite in equal measures, but this is exactly what he needs today. Ai had been fully capable of taking care of himself since he was 15, but when Ranmaru bustles around Ai's kitchen familiarly and let's Ai sit on the counter to chatter his ear off for once, Ai doesn't mind the slight pampering. Ranmaru let's Ai try everything, kissing his cheek with each approving hum.

Ai decides he likes the domesticity enough to let it slide for a little longer.

* * *

Ai loves Ranmaru, and sometimes he thinks that maybe he always has, but there's something like a burning, pulsing adoration running through his veins when he gets to Ranmaru's apartment and finds himself bonelessly comfortable in his bed. Sex is a no go-- Ai isn't stupid enough to put his leg through  _ any _ kind of strain so soon after surgery, he's not 9 and anxious anymore-- but Ranmaru just seems content to wrap himself around Ai and sleep.

Ai hiccups a few tears. He's still emotionally compromised, still dizzy, and when Ranmaru pulls him closer, arms tight and warm and  _ safe, _ Ai let's himself relax enough to sleep.

* * *

It takes very little time after for Ai to get a tattoo. Ranmaru had offered before, made suggestions that varied from the sublime to the ridiculous, but Ai had staunchly refused until he knew what he really wanted to do. It comes to him post-surgery, as he returns to classes and winter gives way to a slightly-chilly spring.

Ranmaru doesn't speak as the ink gun drags across Ai's skin, and Ai breathes slowly. It could hurt more-- Ai's leg had been shattered, little compared to that-- but the skin behind his ear is especially sensitive. A daffodil blooms readily from behind Ai's right ear.

“It represents the end of winter.” Ai explains to Ranmaru beforehand. “I think my mother was like spring; bright despite the crippling cold. She's always on my mind, even if I don’t really mention her.”

* * *

The next tattoo is a songbird on the inner side of Ai's middle finger. Because that's how Aine would have wanted to be remembered: a beautiful, flighty,  _ fuck you _ to the world. It feels especially good to flip people off with that hand.

* * *

Ranmaru let's Ai put flowers in his hair when he brings them home. He wove most into crowns-- anemones, gardenias, iris’, asters, and freesias were favorites, and Tomochika teased him for always smelling faintly like petals. It was hard to say no when Ai pressed kisses to Ranmaru’s tattoos with the same adoration he created bouquets, saw how brilliantly he loved both Ranmaru and the stems under his fingertips.

(He hated nothing more than coding, but that was a given.)

Ranmaru twirls a strand of Ai's hair, trying his best to not upset the lavenders daintily wrapped together on Ai'd head.

“Ai.” he calls out, and Ai looks over from his phone with a smile.

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> who needs a cohesive timeline or anything when u could just: not  
> aka i like vignette writing but im not good at it so it just looks messy rip
> 
> i FEEL like i showed someone this and they drew me an art but now i cant remember and i feel bad IF IM RIGHT AND IT WAS U SLIDE IT SO I MAY LINK IT HERE
> 
> update: [FOUND IT, IT WAS PINEAPPLELIGHTDRAWS WHO MADE A LOVELY AI IN A FLOWERCROWN FOR ME](https://www.instagram.com/p/BrxkBsEHKXB/)
> 
> thank u for reading one day ill update providence happy holidays [i have a tumblr](http://selenolatries.tumblr.com/)


End file.
